Past newsletters

                     INSIDE OUT                    

centre for children's well-being

Peace...

Dear Friends,

Peace is a simple concept... until we try to maintain it in the face of balancing the budget, jam-packed highways or shopping isles, cranky relatives, burned biscuits and children who we fear won't understand why there might be fewer presents this year.

In this season of peace, joy and thankfulness, we offer a gentle reminder that peace is yours for the taking.  Peace resides within us at all times; we need only to breathe deeply and choose it.  Our goal at Inside Out is to consciously raise awareness so we can choose thoughts, feelings and actions that allow our natural peace to flow through us.  My gratitude for those who choose peace in any one moment, is overwhelming. Those of us who can choose peace this season will do so, and offer it as a gift to those who are experiencing difficult times.  As I have seen in my daily interactions with children and the world, one moment has the power to transform relationships and situations tremendously. My thanks go to you for the many moments you choose peace, and for being willing travelers on this journey with me.  You are making a very real difference every day, and your "moments" create an energetic ripple that spans the globe.  We are all in this together.  I deeply appreciate the emails, conversations and opportunities you have provided to me in the past year.  It is through you that I am able to experience growth both personally and as a business.  I am grateful for the opportunity to serve you, and are wishing you well this holiday season and always.  Thank you for sharing in the Inside Out dream with me.

With heartfelt warmth,
Monique.

Naughty or Nice?

We've reached that time of year again, when we hear the common phrases, "What's Santa bringing you this year?  Have you been good?  He only brings presents to good children."  Or how about, "Stop crying or Santa won't come to you.  Your brother will get a present because he's cleaning his teeth, but not you because you're being naughty". I'm not sure about you, but these continual messages about good and bad that are fed to children are like fingernails on a chalkboard to me.

When we use conditional language with children we are setting our child up for a lifetime of low self-esteem.  Conditional language is when we give kids messages that they are only loved or worthy IF... they are good, eat their veges, make their bed, say sorry, don't hit their siblings, etc, etc.  Most people use conditional language everyday to encourage children to do what they want.  When we look below the surface however, we have to ask ourselves, "Am I trying to teach my child to be self responsible or am I really just trying to get my needs met in this moment?".

By attempting to get children to do what we want, we are forgetting about their needs in the situation and we can throw cooperation and self responsibility out the window.  When we use language that focusses on judgement we set up a cycle where only opposites can be seen and no other possibilities can emerge.  Where there's a focus on being good, there's an unspoken threat that if i'm not good, I must be bad.  When we tell children they are naughty or bad, they believe it and it can reverberate through every decision they make for the rest of their lives.

When we recognise that conditional language is not only manipulative, doesn't teach children how to meet their needs, but actually harms their self esteem and teaches them to manipulate others, we have to ask the question... "what can I do instead?"

Well, luckily there is another way!!  Using unconditional language with children is one of the keys to cooperative and self-responsible children. 

"Discipline from the Inside Out" introduces participants to a whole new world of communicating with children to meet BOTH their needs AND yours!!  Imagine having the skills to teach your child self-responsiblity while feeling calm, open and responsive to yourself and your child.

To register for this workshop, click here.

With 2008 rapidly drawing to a close, we would like to acknowledge another full year at Inside Out, our third year of operation. 

Well, what a year it's been.  Early in 2008 our Centre in the trees became a nurturing and popular space for our counselling service as well as numerous workshops, training and seminar events.  We started the year with some delicious weekly evening meditation groups and on the day of the government's apology to our Indigenous population, we held a well attended viewing of the powerful and informative documentary "Kanyini".   Throughout this year, the number of families accessing our counselling service has tripled.  Supporting the supervision needs of counselling and teaching professionals has been made a priority and supported by our wonderful visiting Supervisor, Carol Farnell.  As well as conducting supervision for several agency groups, I have been lucky to do a bit of travelling this year to facilitate several counselling methods showcase days in Brisbane as well as a number of two-day introductory workshops in Expressive Therapies, Sandplay Therapy and Working Creatively with Child Victims of Sexual Abuse in Hervey Bay and Toowoomba.  Numerous talks to parents and professionals from across the Sunshine Coast including Family Day Care and Education Queensland were also conducted.  Being awarded Finalist in the small business category of the Sunshine Coast Women's Business Network Awards in August was a great priviledge.  We have also seen the beginning of a wonderful joint business and training association with the Expressive Therapies Institute of Australia which has allowed me to conduct the very popular Certificate in Expressive Therapies for Children and Adolescents for the very first time here on the Sunshine Coast for counselling professionals.  We have voluntarily supported the successful placement of a TAFE student on prac for three months and most recently hosted a very insightful day of Seminars on Sandplay Therapy with Lynette Fox, an experienced Sandplay practitioner and international trainer.  On top of all of this, this year saw the very exciting introduction of our unique and powerful series of "Inside Out" workshops - "Parenting from the Inside Out".

2009 promises to be another full year as we continue to work towards our dream of creating a peaceful world by building the emotional and behavioural well-being of children and parents.  We believe families and child educators create our future and by creating resources that support them we will create a peaceful and sustainable planet for future generations.  Our first event for the new year is a series of five personal development workshops for adults on the topic of intuitive wisdom, called "Soul Dance" - what a great way to start the year!  Following this will be a series of weekly evening personal development workshops on various topics such as, "Move the Body, Centre the Mind, Inspire the Spirit", "Reclaiming Your Inner Child" and "Journey of Motherhood". 

If you are interested in parenting, disciplining or teaching from the inside out, from a more organic, intuitive and authentic space, check out our series of "Inside Out" workshops in 2009.  In February, we are very excited to present the inaugural "Discipline from the Inside Out" workshop for anyone wanting to discipline a child through relationship rather than punishment or rewards.  The second intake of "Parenting from the Inside Out" will be held in May, whilst the third workshop in the inside out series is "Teaching from the Inside Out" and will be offered in August for educational professionals, including classroom teachers and day care workers.

If you are a professional that works with families you may also be interested in our four-day training that will give you the ability to run "Parenting from the Inside Out" in your own agency, educational facility or practice.  This training will give you powerful and unique ways to support the emotional well-being of parents and families.  On successful completion of the training, graduates will be given certification as well as offered individual support to conduct the "Parenting from the Inside Out" workshop in your own place of work along with a comprehensive training manual and participant workbook.

And for those counselling professionals that would like to add some creative healing tools to your skillbase, we will be offering the Certificate in Expressive Therapies with Children and Adolescents again, beginning in March 2009.

The 2009 Personal and Professional Training Calendar is now available on our website.  Our website also has information on the other services we offer such as: · Child & Parent Counselling · Expressive Therapies · Sandplay Therapy · Healing with Vibrational Essences · Books & Resources · Articles and Links. Please do not hesitate to contact us should you require any further information on any of our services or if we can assist you, your family or your agency in any way.

Thank you to all of you who have blended your wonderful energy and blessings into our centre and I invite any of you who are interested, whether you're a parent, grandparent, child educator or support worker, foster or kinship carer to come along to the centre and engage in the wonderful atmosphere, workshops and training opportunities in 2009.

The Inside Out office will be closed from 22 December 2008 and will re-open on 5 January 2009.  We look forward to working alongside you again in the new year.  Here at Inside Out we would like to wish you and your loved ones a wonderful and safe festive season.

Monique Rutherford
Child Psychotherapist